While you may be reading this email, according to fundamental physical laws, there is another possibility that you are not reading this email. We have no way of knowing this until we observe you reading this email, which would collapse the wave function and obliterate all possibilities of you not having read this email, at least in this reality (we're not making this up). However, in some other reality that branched off from our current reality, where you actually DIDN'T read this email, we are saying unkind things about your in-laws, and making fun of your dog. Or maybe we aren't. That's the great thing about quantum physics - you never really know what the hell is going on. Or maybe you do. That's always a possibility. The only sure thing is that it has something to do with a German cat in a box that is simultaneously alive and dead at the same time. It's not even a brain-eating zombie cat, it's just a regular cat in a box. Go figure. Or don't.