The more tireless drink research that we do in order to send Drinks of the Week to you, the more we think that we should be in charge of everything. This isn't a byproduct of our research, it's just the fact that the more we know, the stupider everything else seems. The first thing we'd do is ban crazy cat ladies. You know the ones. If you have 176 cats, and they all live in your house, then not only are you a walking disease vector, but you are crazy and your brain should be donated to science so that we can find out how to suppress the part that thinks "When I go to sleep I want to be entirely covered in layers of tabbies four or five thick." We don't want that part anymore. While we're at it, we'd also get rid of the guy who invented that alarm clock noise. What the hell was he thinking? You could wake people up with nice noises, or you could wake them up with noises that instill aggravated urges for violent smashings of things. You can see where we're going with this. Things would be much better with us in charge, so if you're the person that puts people in charge of things, we'd ask that you consider us next time. We'd do all that and more, and still have time to send you drink recipes each week, unless we didn't hear the alarm clock from underneath a blanket of cats. You might be asking yourself exactly how we got around to bringing these things up while researching drinks, but you should probably ignore that and check out the recipe instead.