Drink of the Week newsletter: Like Shakespeare, except you get to drink.
Drink of the Week for Mar 31st, 2006: Peachy Pirate
What we had to say
As the icy wasteland of winter melts before our eyes, our thoughts turn to springtime and all the things that springtime brings. Like pirates.
As everyone knows, springtime is the high season for pirate raids, so you should take several simple steps to beef up your defenses. First, obtain as many villagers with torches and pitchforks as possible. These are for ambience when the pirates attack. They will spruce up your battle with a lot of extra noise, give the pirates something to defeat easily, and provide for random explosions when they accidentally drop their torches into the black powder room. Secondly, make sure your internet cafe has the maximum number of workstations available running Kazaa or Bearshare. This will distract the pirates from stealing your gold bars and will have the bonus effect of making the MPAA and RIAA very, very angry, which is always great for some funny headlines the next day. Finally, remember that pirates are generally morons and can be psychologically defeated by slaying the musclebound first-mate that generally dual-wields sabres and has scars all over him and is missing an eye.
In case the battle doesn't go well, it's always a good idea to have valuables available to barter with, since they'll likely take your wife or daughter hostage. We decided that in the event of attack, Drinknation's new Pirate themed drink list might be useful. You can use it too. It's at http://www.drinknation.com/theme/Pirates. Yar!
Rating: 6.0 / 10 (23 votes)
Peachy Pirate Drink Recipe
This recipe was Drink of the Week on 2006-03-31. Check out the review!
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