Drink of the Week newsletter: Like Shakespeare, except you get to drink.

You are currently not subscribed to the Drink of the Week newsletter.
You can change your subscription from your account page.

Drink of the Week for Apr 16th, 2004: The Graduate

What we had to say

This week we thought we'd take an in-depth look at how the United States Patent and Trademark Office (USPTO) works. This seemed like a good idea to us, because we've been drinking. Did you know that you can patent anything you want? That's right! In fact, we've got a patent on saying "Did you know that you can patent anything you want", so you owe us some money after reading that. Twice. Did you see how easy that was? You can do it too. Simply make something stupid up, then add some big words. It might go something like this:

You : I've got an [invention or discovery] here that uses big words.
USPTO: Here's a patent.

Sometimes it's not that simple. The USPTO has strict quality control that makes sure only new and inventive ideas receive legal recognition. You might be subject to an expert review process like this:

You : I've got an [invention or discovery] here that uses big words.
USPTO: What kind of words?
You : "Cheese".
USPTO: Here's a patent.

It's all true, we swear. What else could explain United States Patent number 5443036, issued August 22, 1995, "Method of exercising a cat"? If you've ever teased your cat with a laser pointer, you are violating the rights and intellectual property of Kevin T. Amiss and Martin H. Abbott of Virginia. After all, they invented it.

So get out there and patent some stupid crap! If you follow the example of US Patent number 5576951 and use the phrase "Multiple micro-programs automatically compose the sales presentations initiated by determinants derived from customer profile information", you'll be in line to sue as many companies as you want for hoards of cash! Happy pillaging!

Rating:   6.1 / 10   (14 votes)

The Graduate Drink Recipe

This recipe was Drink of the Week on 2004-04-16. Check out the review!
No picture of this cocktail available.

Glass to Use

Shot glassShot glass


  • 1/4 oz. Amaretto
  • 1 oz. Southern Comfort
  • 1/2 oz. Pineapple Juice

Mixing Instructions

Shake ingredients in a cocktail shaker with ice. Strain into a shot glass.

For previous Drinks of the Week in an easy-to-browse format, check out the Recipe Browser collection!

Cocktail recipe search

Advanced search

Mixed drink recipe browser By:
Drinking games and bar games
Bartending and basic bartender skills

Drink recipe stuff
Your bar
Your favourites
Your account

Advanced Search
Best Drinks
Newest Drinks
Drink of the Week
Ingredient Glossary
Random recipe
Submit recipe

Some more stuff
New here?
Urinal Test
Got a web site?
RSS Feeds
Mixed drinks via RSS!