Drink of the Week newsletter: Like Shakespeare, except you get to drink.
Drink of the Week for Oct 8th, 2005: Ritz Fizz
What we had to say
You know those cone things that they put on pets to stop them from licking themselves after they've been to the vet? Those are pretty funny. Not for the pet, of course, because they just end up running into walls. On a deep, subconcious level though, something with a cone on it's head that runs into walls is innately hilarious, and you shouldn't feel guilty for laughing. In fact, the reason why we bring it up is that we think someone should invent these for humans. Not because humans need to be prevented from licking themselves, although that would be a very positive side-effect, but mostly because we can think of a lot of people who should have cones on their heads. For instance, pretty much every celebrity. It should be a rule that as soon as you anull your marriage of three days to an actor you dated for three weeks beforehand, and it's broadcast into every major news outlet on purpose, you get coned. Your cone time would be a proportionally inverse amount of time to your marriage. We could also cone politicians every time they are involved in a scandal. The bigger the scandal, the bigger the cone. Some of them could end up being stunt ramps for water-skiers. The only way to get the cone off would be to repay their debt to society, perhaps by using their cone to act as a homeless shelter. The more we think about this, the more it seems like a good idea. We're going to go build some more walls.
Rating: 5.9 / 10 (16 votes)
Ritz Fizz Drink Recipe
This recipe was Drink of the Week on 2005-10-08. Check out the review!
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