Spring is around here somewhere, so we thought we'd forego writing our usual useless but tasteful diatribe full of manatee references, and instead spend the time cleaning out our basement. Or maybe writing a useless, tasteful diatribe full of dugong references. Because you have to admit that dugong is a funny word. Regardless, our basement turned out to be full of the usual crappy junk - old car parts that we'll definitely use to fix up our car sometime, an old aquarium, one of those singing fish things, six or seven thousand boxes of books from college, Crazy Ed the hobo, and that old chair that Uncle Milton passed away in and no one will sit in anymore. We were hoping to donate most of it to the "Save the Dugongs" foundation, but they didn't want it, and the Salvation Army has nothing to do with dugongs so they were out of the question. We ended up giving it all to Crazy Ed when he promised to fix our car and never break into our basement again, but we're not holding him to it. Because he's crazy.

So we're going outside to enjoy the spring weather, and to buy a guard dog. Or guard dugong. Whichever.