What is up with science? We mean, it's cool and all, we like black holes and robots and unicorns as much as the next person, but these days it seems as if we've hit some sort of critical mass. A critical sciency mass, with a creamy nougat center. For example, we have scientists making glow-in-the-dark fish. While it must be an exhilarating experience to cross a bioluminescent jellyfish with a guppy, it's not like we are achieving the nirvanic dream of a grand unification theory here. Seriously, glow-in-the-dark fish? That's some good ytterbium you're smoking there, science! You just know Archimedes and Galileo are waiting up near the pearly gates to rough these geniuses up after they get eaten by their scratch-n-sniff lion. For the price of a Barry White CD and a good vintage Cabarnet, you could probably make your own glow-in-the-dark animals. Jellyfish aren't picky.

Where are the jet packs? The efficient energy cells? The cloud cities? They're in the aquarium, tormenting the tabby-cat clones by flashing rude things about their test-tube mothers in morse code. We at Drinknation urge you to contact your local science team and tell them to get out from under the fume hood and get back to work. We have to go rescue this week's drink from our cyborg potato slave people.