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Drink of the Week newsletter: Like Shakespeare, except you get to drink.
Drink of the Week for May 29th, 2004: Stock Market Crash
What we had to say
There are a few universal constants that most sciency types agree on. Stuff like the gravitational constant, Planck's constant, Daisy Duke shorts, and the speed of light. Well, the shorts might not really be a universal constant. But everyone agrees on them. Imagine our surprise then, when this week we were witness to the horrible spectacle of UGLY KITTENS! That's right. Kittens... that weren't cute! And we're not talking mildly unattractive kittens here, either. We're talking kittens that looked like they had climbed out of the River Styx and hijacked the boatman to take them out of the lower levels of Hades so they could unleash chaos and ultimate suffering upon the hapless denizens of the mortal realm. Seriously un-cute.
This clearly violated some sort of scientific law. It spooked us so bad, we did our own research into the matter, but watching TV really only made us stupider, and hungrier, so we gave up researching and went for burgers. On the way out, we realized the kittens had followed us home! Preparing for certain death, it was only at the last second that we realized that the kittens were covered in... tape? Wait. The kittens had taped pictures of presidential candidates to themselves! After a huge sigh of relief, we (carefully and using safety gloves) removed (and burned while chanting spells to ward off curses) the pictures, and the kittens ran off.
If there's a moral to this story, then we don't know what it is. Maybe something about shorts. At least science wins again.
Rating: 6.1 / 10 (64 votes)
Stock Market Crash Drink Recipe
This recipe was Drink of the Week on 2004-05-29. Check out the review!
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